I have no experience with Bayou Billy or his video game adventures, which seem to have a distinct urban-meets-outlands Crocodile Dundee vibe, with a healthy dose of Pole Position mixed in. Apparently it was a devilishly difficult game to conquer — again, no personal knowledge on that front. But his fightin’, drivin’, zappin’, and shootin’ monkeyshines, set in and around New Orleans, would seem tailor made for a modern reality show. Duck Dynasty crossed with Soldier of Fortune. Or something.
And you know what? There was a Bayou Billy comic book series. A whole SERIES. How about that, huh? Yet I still have no Twin Peaks or Magnum, P.I. comics to sate my old-timey thirst. Where’s the justice, you know?
Star Trek fandom takes a lot of abuse, most of it unwarranted, much of it understandable. The reason why William Shatner’s infamous “GET A LIFE!” SNL sketch stabbed at the heart of Trek nation was because its “colossal waste of time” indictment strayed a bit too close to the mark. This isn’t to say that it was right — that fans have turned something that Shatner “did as a lark for a few years, into a colossal waste of time.” Fandom knows no rationality, no one begrudges hobbies, and collecting memorabilia from a 1960s TV show that gained an unceasing foothold in the world’s pop consciousness seems just as valid a diversion as any. It ain’t worse than Beanie Babies, put it that way.
But man oh man, there’s a lot of Star Trek crap out there — emphasis on the “crap.” Chintzy, useless crap, reminiscent of those lame collector plates you’d always see advertised in TV Guide back in the day. In fact, now that I think of it, I think I saw some Star Trek plate ads back then, too. (Who displays those things in their home? Does Miss Havisham live there? With Leatherface?)
You can probably lump this set of trading cards in with the chintzy mountain of crap. Read more…
Thank you, comic book ad, for acquainting us with a hairy, doughy, half-nude man’s “bulge”
According to the imagery progression in this ad, using the Joe Weider “Slimmers” program will take a woman repulsed by your flabby midsection and get her on her knees in front of you, her head waist-high. Good to know.
Every generation has its teen idols, personified fads that make sense to adolescents at the time but mystify adults — and the adolescents when they themselves reach adulthood. Now we seem to be entering into the final stage of Justin Bieber’s apotheosis, as the screaming girls and trademark scents at the Macy’s perfume counter morph into gas masks, random hospitalizations and monkeys held at customs. Have teen idols become weirder as the media landscape has fractured and metastasized? The Biebs would argue yes.
All this is fodder for another day and another place. But today we have before us a comic adaptation of a film starring a 1960s child actor, a precursor of the modern teen idol archetype. Behold, Hayley “Parent Trap” Mills, and her celluloid masterpiece known as That Darn Cat!. Read more…
This little scamp of an advertisement takes the classic squirrel-monkeys-by-mail ad and extends it to the entire animal kingdom — make that the entire wild animal kingdom. The sharp teeth of your domesticated dog not threatening enough? Try a wolf! Your parakeet in its cage not fitting the avian bill? Try a hawk that would just as soon stab your eyes out as look at you! Ever thought “Gee, I wish the garbage can would get tipped over more often”? Then get a raccoon, nature’s trash-rifling felon!
Or just get a skunk, the trump card of the whole lot. Whether or not the stink glands are removed before shipping would make buying one a bit like Russian roulette, no?
There are two great character contributions that Walt Simonson made during his long tenure as the God of Thunder’s writer and artist. The first was Beta Ray Bill, the equine alien cyborg who stumbled into possession of Mjolnir and became one of the staunchest allies that Asgard ever had. The second was Thor as a frog. Repeat: THOR AS A FROG. Thanks to another dickish spell from Loki, the worst adopted brother in the history of this or any other world, Thor slummed for a couple of Simonson issues as a short, strong-legged amphibian in New York City’s Central Park. He even found a little love along the way, with a frog princess (this was the cherry on top of this deliciously silly sundae).
Though this story was of course made up, you can’t make this up, if you catch my drift.
After a couple of issues, Thor returned to his tall, blond, Nordic, human self, much to the chagrin of the frog princess he left behind and the fans who — quite understandably, frankly — thought this was the greatest damn story that they had ever seen. But guess what — this wasn’t the last time that Frog-Thor appeared in a Marvel comic. Indeed, the Frog of Thunder was that special hind of oddity which has legs — no pun intended. You can even find busts and Heroclix figures of the guy, if you’re so inclined. And there’s old this issue of What If…?, which features an all-too brief appearance of Thor-as-frog. Read more…
You can finally have the He-Man voice of your dreams, all thanks to the improbably named Eugene Feuchtinger
Who wouldn’t want a He-Man voice, even before there was a He-Man that would necessitate capitalizing the name? Who wouldn’t trust a man with a name like “Eugene Feuchtinger” to give it to them? Hey, is that him in the photo? Look, he’s talking on the phone and everything! Such confidence! Such rampant manliness!
One quibble, though: Is it the “Prefect” Voice Institute or the “Perfect” Voice Institute? Mr. Feuchtinger wouldn’t have such a glaring typo in his own itty-bitty ad, would he? WOULD HE?
In fairness, the ad didn’t promise He-Man Spelling.
(Note: The course is still around, and “Perfect” appears to be the proper spelling. Also that’s not Feuchtinger in the ad. Apparently this is. He has a buzz cut. Of course he does. Also, this isn’t the first blog to remark upon this ad. That is all. Have a nice day.)
Consider this a counterweight to the other CBS Super Heroes post from several days ago, this time with 100% more Aquaman. A few observations: One, Superman apparently can’t be bothered to pose for more than one photo. He’s a busy fellow, after all. Two, I never knew there was an actual Shazzan cartoon, and only knew about the decades-later SNL Robert Smigel parody, the one with an added “g.” (Favorite line: “You’ll miss the picnic!”) I am now fully enlightened. Three, I don’t know if rejiggering Herman Melville’s Moby Dick into an insipid cartoon deserves commendation or condemnation. Both? Four, is Race Bannon spanking Bandit? Isn’t that the sort of thing Race usually saves for his private bedroom time with Benton?
Anyway, enjoy your cartoons, children of the 1960s.
The end of an era? – Iron Man 3
Is it really possible that this is the fourth film in which that Robert Downey, Jr. has brought Tony Stark to vivid life? It doesn’t, does it? Was there ever a time when we looked at the moustached playboy of the Marvel U. as anyone other than the quick-witted, arrogant yet virtuous man whom Downey has come to embody? And now that I think of it, this is the fifth time that Downey has played Stark, since you have to count the Incredible Hulk cameo. Five times. It’s been five years since the first Iron Man film. Five movies in five years reeks of overkill, of a studio strip-mining a fanbase to squeeze every last drop of box office cash out of them, overplayed consequences be damned. And guess what? Audiences are nowhere close to being tired of Downey in this role. I know I’m not. Even in the at times underwhelming Iron Man 2, Downey never faltered.
It’s really amazing when you think about it. Read more…
The girl in the upper right-hand corner doesn’t look happy. She looks terrified, less rooting the tiny electric car on than fretting over its imminent destruction, aghast that the hellish Trik-Trak, with its logs and houses and somersaults (who’s driving, the Elwood Blues?), will be its ultimate doom. It almost beats throwing a shed snake skin on her.
No sign of her in the old TV commercial, though a Phil Silvers-ish man in a cardigan does make an appearance.
If Batman and Superman are the World’s Finest tag team, then might I suggest that Bat-Swami and Super-Seer are the World’s Dopiest? Wouldn’t it be better (worse) if Superman had a giant Carnak the Magnificent turban on his noggin? I mean, if you’re going to go this route, you might as well have all the bells and whistles. Also, is “My Two Partners” Robin’s equivalent of My Two Dads?
At least the words “groovy” and “hepcat” were never used.
That’s all I’ve got. Good night and good luck.
Lone Ranger? We don’t need no stinkin’ Lone Ranger! (Part 2 of 2) – The Lone Ranger’s Famous Horse Silver #15
Time to finish off the two-part Lone Ranger lead-up. We’ve already taken a glance at Tonto’s solo comic, and today we’ll be looking at that other co-star of innumerable Lone Ranger stories. And really, everyone knows who the real headliner of the whole shebang was, who really drew young boys into the Western do-goodery of Kemo Sabe: Silver. Yes, the Lone Ranger’s hyper-smart horse had his own book too, though because — apart from freaks like Mister Ed — horses can’t talk, Silver’s owner has a presence here, both as framing device and narrator.
But make no mistake, Silver is the star of the show/comic/whatever. Read more…
Where else could you find Superman, the Lone Ranger, Space Ghost and Frankenstein Jr. together but 1960s CBS Saturday Mornings?
With the Lone Ranger and Tonto making an appearance down in the lower left-hand corner, this 1960s ad is a nice intermission break for the “We don’t need no stinkin’ Lone Ranger!” two-parter. What to make of this old-timey assemblage? While I’m personally thankful to the powers-that-be for greenlighting Space Ghost, which blew but provided animation fodder for the greatest, funniest, trippiest interview show of all time, I’m uncertain as to whether this lineup stacks up to the great Saturday cartoon blocks of my youth — and some of the lesser ones. It’s a generational thing, I know (my cartoons can beat up your cartoons), but is anyone yearning for the days of Frankentstein, Jr.? I mean, we had the Snorks, but geez.
Trading Card Set of the Week – Ultraverse (SkyBox, 1993)
Of the multitude of comic book universes that cropped up during the 1990s boom, the Ultraverse line from Malibu was perhaps the most worthy of sticking around. It was all original, unlike Valiant, which built off of Gold Key characters from a decade before, and its cast of players was diverse, fairly well-planned, and not prone to the proprietary firewalls that kept the Image characters from fully integrating. Sure, many of the Ultraverse’s heroes and villains were derivative, but that’s the curse of comics — like the periodic table of elements, there are only so many ingredients that go into the creation of someone in tights and a cape. You can give them a break on that score.
To go through some of the Ultraverse storylines is the topic for another post, but suffice it to say, it left its core of fans wanting more. But because Malibu got into the hero business at the tail end of the boom, the Ultraverse didn’t have long before the Big Bang became the Big Bust (and Marvel purchased Malibu and neutered the IP). This brief window didn’t stop the company from — in conjunction with SkyBox — putting out three, count ’em three, editions of trading cards, though. And, thrill of thrills, today we’ll have a look at the first. Read more…
Lone Ranger? We don’t need no stinkin’ Lone Ranger! (Part 1 of 2) – The Lone Ranger’s Companion Tonto #32
A shiny new Lone Ranger movie is opening this summer, with Armie Hammer filling the role of the man behind the mask, and cinematic cure-all Johnny Depp climbing underneath an improbable headdress to play Tonto. Considering what the Lone Ranger once was — a character juggernaut that transcended mediums and was the cross-generational Western spearhead when that genre was king — it’s a bit surprising that it has taken this long for kemo sabe to resurface in the public consciousness. He’ll back soon enough, though, and with Depp’s presence adding blockbuster luster, likely in a big way. The Lone Ranger is about to ride again, and the parent studio’s surely hoping he’ll have a Pirates of the Caribbean box office take. Dollar dollar bills, y’all.
This upcoming release creates a temptation to go back and look at Lone Ranger comics, and we’re going to do that in a roundabout way. How? By taking a look at a couple of books centered around his two — yes, two — sidekicks. And up first? Tonto.
Read more…
Jared
blog into mystery 