Today in Random 1970s Full-Page Comic Book Ad Potpourri (INCLUDES MONKEYS)

Comic book pages like these (this one came from Amazing Adventures #7) were truly the adolescent Amazon.coms of their day. Under what other roof could you find your model rockets, hypno-coins, bodybuilding courses, magic kits and OH GOD THEY’RE SELLING SQUIRREL MONKEYS.

I have to say, that’s a new one for me, one that I’ve never noticed before — more due to my inattention than its oddness. “If you want to watch a creature with a more developed consciousness than a Sea-Monkey wither and die before your very eyes, HAVE WE GOT A PRODUCT FOR YOU.” Did they come wearing little suits? Did the seller make sure to poke air-holes in the shipping containers? Was this legal? The cup runneth over with questions.

For more verbiage devoted to the thriving 1970s squirrel monkey market, there’s a good little piece here. The article contains actual honest-t0-God tragicomic tales of real-life mail-order simian pets (including, yes, monkeys riding dogs like horses), and some answers to the questions posed above. EXCELSIOR.