U.S. Royal returns to endanger more souls with his stupid damn bike

I’m not sure of much in life, but I’m certain of this: I’d want to live in no municipality that subcontracts out its crimefighting to insufferable bike-riding know-it-alls, who in turn deputize young children to be part of a crack investigative team. And no amount of complimentary bike tires could convince me otherwise.

Stick to racing cars on your stupid bike, U.S.