Your 1986-87 NBC Saturday morning cartoon lineup, now with 100% more unwatchable crap!

NBC apparently bet hard on the “furry animal” cartoon genre during the 1986-87 broadcast season — even going with not one but TWO cartoons with “fur” in their titles. (Incidentally, are Smurfs animals? People? Aliens?) I can speak only for myself and my viewing habits back then, but I wouldn’t have switched over to this lineup with a ten foot cattle-prod for my dial clicker. And I had to remind myself that there was an actual Gummi Bears cartoon — A GUMMI BEARS CARTOON. FROM DISNEY. Vomitous. Poor Punky Brewster had to be calling her agent to get her the hell out of there.

I’ll grant that, in retrospect, Michael J. Fox is a better “One to Grow On” spokesman than the cheeseburger-fighting David Hasselhoff. But that’s it. That’s all you’re getting out of me.