Batman and Superman are here with a dense, bewildering offer for “free” comics

Comic book subscription advertisements tend to be fairly straightforward affairs. There’s usually some verbiage letting you know what a great deal you’ll be getting and how you’d have to be a mouth-breathing, slack-jawed, banjo-plucking simpleton not to take advantage of it, and then there’s a simple list of the comics that you can have magically mailed to your mailbox on a monthly basis (or some other regular interval). Maybe there’s some Christmasy themes mixed in to get you in a buying mood. You know the drill. And then there’s this thing. Granted, it’s not all that complex once you dig into it, but at first glance it looks like something that’s going to have a lot of wheretofors and heretofors, like a document for a house-closing, one of those wordy monsters that’s printed on legal paper that’s longer than regular paper and looks like an unfurled edict from the King.

One question: WHO THE HELL WOULD ONLY WANT GROUP III?

Bottom line? Just give us our damn comics, DC, and cram the “charter membership” hooey. Now that I think of it, Superman snapping chains in the upper left-hand corner might as well be a metaphor for readers saying to hell with this crap, we’ll take our chances at the newsstand.