Because nothing says “sweatshirt” like the lariat-wielding Red Ryder

No one is going to argue with Red Ryder’s old-timey popularity. He was a multimedia star back when it seemed that every young boy wanted to be a cowboy — before the term “astronaut” came along to demolish all other aspirations. His renown was such that he could sell pretty much everything to youngsters, beyond the de rigueur BB guns all the way to seed distribution schemes. But a clean-cut, very 20th century, very suburban sweatshirt? That feels a little odd. Red Ryder chaps — that we could get. Red Ryder cowboy hat? Okay. Red Ryder lasso? Perfect. But a sweatshirt is the wardrobe of a tamed city slicker, not a rugged character at home on the range.

Not quite as much of a sore thumb as a Dick Tracy Easy Bake Oven would be, but still.