Spider-Junk. Spider-Junk. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Junk.

Yes, Spider-Man is the star of the figurative Marvel show, the guy they put on the letterhead, the man whose title is used to help (re)launch other characters into their own books. Concomitant with that a desire to cram him into as much merchandise as possible. Stuff like cars, and, as we see above, stunt cycles (to channel your inner Spider Knievel) and, God help us all, dune buggies. Yes, you read and see that last item right: a dune buggy. While it’s true that there aren’t a lot of skyscrapers to swing from next to beaches and that he might need a little help getting speedily from point A to point B, you’d think he might be able to negotiate the sand and surf in a slightly more dignified fashion. Let’s reserve the goofy dune buggies for the Banana Splits, you know?

And we all shudder to think what the ingredients are in the Spidey-brand crazy foam, “wildest container ever” notwithstanding.