The old-timey wrist radio picks up stations, but doesn’t do the one thing you really want it to do

The two smiling kids at the top of this ad get you all amped up for these wrist radios, thinking that here you have a genuine two-way communication device right out of a Dick Tracy strip. Look — there are lightning bolts connecting the two of them and everything!This surely signifies important communications about treehouse clubs, makeshift forts and information gleaned through decoder rings! Ohmygodgimmegimmegimme!

Then you read the copy and learn that the wrist radio is just that — a radio. One that, even if it can receive broadcasts from up to 50 miles away (and that seems dubious), is a serious disappointment. The germanium power element, which makes it sound like you have a nuclear reactor on your arm, doesn’t even make up for that. Sorry, kids — back to the Chiquita banana walkie talkies. Choke on your disappointment.

Of course we have wrist communication devices now, and they’re blocky, dopey, and only boast neato TV commercials. So maybe the radio was okay, subtly deceptive advertising and all.

But one imagines that there were a few kids taking advantage of that 10 day free trial.