Piss off your parents with the sprawling, entire-floor-covering Go & Grow set from Motorific

Before there was suburban sprawl, there was bedroom sprawl, as children’s elaborate car playsets grew and morphed and glommed and took over vast swaths of home floorspaces. Though I never had one of these Motorific sets (or others of similar design), a friend of mine and I once put together a gigantic Lego moonbase in a spare bedroom at my grandmother’s house, and it was a stunning, heart-wrenching moment when, after weeks of us adding on, she finally put her foot down (in a nice, grandmotherly way) and said it had to go. Much sad dismantling ensued, with fierce rumination on the injustice of it all. I can imagine these Motorific thingamabobs generated similar domestic scenes. I swear, if I step on that thing on more damn time….

Note: This ad is the first and last time the phrase “The automatic service center adds excitement” has ever been used. In the history of the world. Ever. (In fairness, they at least didn’t close it with an exclamation point.)