Batman has a thought balloon that just doesn’t fly in this goofy Hostess Twinkies ad

The shutdown of the once unstoppable Twinkies machine has had several aftereffects. People are out of work. Executives are lining up large bonuses for themselves. Morbidly obese slobs — the ones that need cranes and teams of firemen hacking away door jambs to leave their houses — are desperately searching for substitute processed confections. Yet out of that despair there’s a ray of light. We can all rejoice that Batman will never again be forced to combat silly cosplay villains at dog shows and think such dopey phrases as “dog-gone disaster.” It’s like Orson Welles hawking frozen peas, in that it makes my soul shiver with empathic shame. This garbage may be okay for the Hulk, but the Caped Crusader is another ballgame.

I’m not sure if that one dog-gone line makes me cringe more than Wolverine’s jumbling of anchovies and “Bub” in the service of his Pizza Hut overlord. They’re both head-shakers.