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Bellicose muscleman George F. Jowett returns to build both your body and your strategic military acumen

October 28, 2012

The George F. Jowett bodybuilding ads were a fixture in old comic books, and are familiar to all of us who’ve ever flipped through a yellowing old lump of bound parchment. As with many venerable Madison Avenue staples, there were a number of variants on the theme. I was struck not so much by the avalanche of copy in this iteration, or the rippling he-man abdominals of the eponymous fist-wagging Mr. Jowett, but by the strip of panels in the middle. I’m sure bulging muscles could help you win beach bully encounters (we have countless Atlas ads to attest to that), hit home runs (see Bonds, Barry) and dazzle the ladies, and hell, maybe even win a promotion at work if the boss is intimidated by your barrel chest and sinewy arms. But getting bumped up in military rank? Is this how we want to establish our armed forces chain of command? I mean, George Washington was a lumpy, misshapen mess when he was befuddling the Brits, and Andrew Jackson was a walking broomstick when he was winning the Battle of New Orleans.

I think we’ve finally explained Vietnam: The brass thought all they’d have to do was some isometrics and wave a hamhock fist, and Ho Chi Minh would go a-running. Quagmires the Jowett way!

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