A sleepy-eyed Johnny Bench hopes you make Louisville Slugger your bat of choice (and buy some crap)

It seems somewhat demeaning to the longstanding Louisville Slugger brand supremacy for them to hawk dopey pens and pencils. Nothing like a fake Johnny Bench autograph to really put your memorabilia collection over the top. (Perhaps Pete Rose was giving Johnny some “put your name on anything for a dollar” tips.)

Maybe all this is why Bench’s expression doesn’t match the enthusiasm of his written words.