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5 songs about Superman, ranked

April 17, 2015

Superman Lois Lane Pat Boone

Superman is the first great superhero, the grandaddy of them all, so it’s therefore somewhat fitting that he’s found himself sung about in more pop tunes per capita than any other comic book character. (Batman, his rival for the hearts and minds of DC readers for the past 75 years, isn’t the sort of guy whose look and aura is conducive to anything that might be labeled a “ditty.”) His bright primary colors and his cheery, upright, best-parts-of-Americana  Norman Rockwell image are ideal for obvious melodies and dulcet tones, so how could he not find himself pressed onto vinyl? Read more…

The Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer will make you believe in metal lunchboxes!

April 16, 2015

I was busy today and didn’t have a chance to post this long-awaited trailer, which features the much hungered for return of Han Solo. As far as commentary, I offer only this: Not that long ago kids’ lunchboxes were made of metal. They were die-cast and solid, with a gorgeous image on their sculpted lid of whatever cartoon or movie or TV show tickled the child’s fancy. They made the peanut butter sandwiches taste like the finest meal ever prepared. Then, before we knew it, before we even realized what was happening, lunchboxes were suddenly made of plastic. They were light, flimsy, and the contoured image was replaced by a simple sticker on the generic lid, one which frayed and peeled as soon as you started using it.

This trailer makes one feel that maybe, just maybe, we’re getting the metal lunchbox back. May the metaphor be with you.

Never oversleep again thanks to the Dynamic Duo and your new (old) Bat-Clock!

April 15, 2015

Batman clock

We’ve seen the terrifying “Super Baby” rag dolls before, and the less said about them, the better. The Bat-Clock is a fresh face, though, and a fine addition to any nightstand. It talked! But what did it say is the real question here, and a superficial scouring of the internet hasn’t turned up much about this ancient timepiece. Did it just spout audio pulls from the Batman TV show? Something original? “Wake your ass up,” that sort of thing? Anyone out there know?

Buy yourself some Florida swamp land — 1 square inch of it!

April 14, 2015

Florida land scam

We’re all familiar with the old saying “If you believe that, then I have some swamp land in Florida I’d like to sell you.” It signifies a con, a mug’s game, a deal only a sucker would go for, and stands right alongside deeds to the Brooklyn Bridge. Read more…

The new Ant-Man trailer will make you believe a man can shrink — and that the movie might actually be good!

April 13, 2015

You know, this thing just might turn out to be a decent movie, another improbable success from the cinematic wing of the House of Ideas. Ants! Miniature fighting! Michael Douglas! Toy train derailments! What’s not to like?


Game of Thrones: Halftime

April 12, 2015

The producers of HBO’s smash sword and sorcery hit, Game of Thrones, have projected that the series will last seven or eight seasons, an output that will approximate the George R. R. Martin books that may or may not all be published by the time the last episode airs. This means that, having completed four seasons and about to embark on the fifth, the show is at the midway point — or close enough. Halftime. The coach has finished making adjustments and drawing up fresh plays in the locker room, the profanity-laced pep talk has been given, the players are coming back onto the field, and the fans are plopping themselves back into their seats.

It’s as good a time as any for all of us to take stock, see where we are, see where we’re going, and reflect on what has and hasn’t worked on the show with the dragons — and bewbs. Read more…

Get an ant farm and unleash your inner sadist!

April 10, 2015

ant farm cross-section

No matter how many barns, silos and windmills they might paint on these things, they always seem rather grim. Read more…

Buy some of the old Marvel portfolios and further exploit the artists!

April 8, 2015

Marvel unpublished art portfolio

While it’s nice that Marvel wanted to give readers access to unpublished art from some of their most popular bullpen members, retrospect casts a different angle on this old Marvelmania offer. Considering the trials of tribulations over the years of artists trying to get credit, royalties and access to their original artwork, you get the feeling that Marvel was picking these guys up by their ankles and shaking them until all the loose change fell out. Running their pockets, as it were — in the Mighty Marvel Manner.

Better Call Saul Season 1, considered

April 6, 2015

Before the first episode of AMC’s Breaking Bad spinoff aired, I mused whether or not it would be AfterM*A*S*H or Frasier. These derivative works are rife with peril, especially when the original material is as hyper-successful as the misadventures of Walter White were. To quote some advice from that dear departed character: tread lightly.

I’m pleased to report that Better Call Saul has defied the odds and overnight become one of the best shows on television, a must-see journey alongside star Bob Odenkirk as he transitions from the no-luck, trying-to-be-good Jimmy McGill to the assured, sleazy Saul Goodman that we first got to know. I was skeptical, and I’m more than happy to let it be known that I was off-base. The show is great.

And I’m going to double-down and commit some heresy: I think it might be better than BB. Read more…

Sunday Stupid: To celebrate Opening Day, let’s watch Hal McRae trash his office and draw blood!

April 5, 2015

Organized professional baseball has been around for well over a century, and therefore there are oh so many less-than-stellar moments to go along with the highlights. For every gimpy Kirk Gibson walk-off World Series home run, there’s George Brett regaling anyone within earshot about his pants-shitting predilections. Read more…

Through a Mirror, Apocryphally – Star Trek: The Mirror Universe Saga

April 3, 2015

Star Trek The Mirror Universe Saga

Star Trek comics have been around almost since the show’s earliest days on air, and while the first Gold Key books were nothing to write home about, over the years there have been a number of series and individual issues worthy of note. Indeed, the comics often offered enhanced opportunities for experimentation, for the Enterprise-centric narrative to boldly go places no television hour-long could. Something like The Modala Imperative, an adventure that spanned generations and reunited Spock and McCoy in the 24th century, would be impossible for live-action, and thus could only take place in book form.

Today we look and one of the more delightful comic runs that Trek ever had, one that came early on in DC’s first stab at an ongoing. Because who can resist the goateed so-good-to-be-bad doings of the Mirror Universe? Read more…

The Mystery Egg either contains Puff the Magic Dragon or a hellish monster that will kill you!

April 2, 2015

Puff the Magic Dragon

Did poor, wretched living things really arrive at your door sealed in a plastic egg? Did Peter, Paul and Mary contemplate legal action for the use of “Puff, the Magic Dragon” as the moniker for said woebegone creature? What was it exactly? A salamander? An alligator? A seal? A real goddamn dragon? Where does this rank on the animal home delivery continuum — before or after skunks and monkeys? Do you really want a surprise beast that has “runs” and “climbs” amongst its list of abilities? Didn’t we learn anything from Kane about wanting to know what’s in a “Mystery Egg”?

An Origin Without Peer? – Daredevil: The Man Without Fear

April 1, 2015

Daredevil The Man Without Fear

There’s a lot riding on the upcoming Netflix Daredevil show. It’s new territory for Marvel both in dissemination and content: pay-service streaming and street-level vigilante crime-fighting. Matt Murdock and his Hell’s Kitchen environs are going to be a new thread in the interwoven big and small screen House of Ideas adaptations, a dark alleyway as it were, one that could very much lead to grander vistas opening up, both creatively and financially. And this is a good thing. We might not be getting residual checks from Disney anytime soon, but it’s wise to keep the corporate overlords happy. More money for them, more (hopefully) nice shiny things for us.

From the looks of the promo materials, those behind this new adaptation are borrowing a tad from the early 1990s Frank Miller/John Romita, Jr. Daredevil: The Man Without Fear, which makes sense since that was a prestige one-stop origin tale for the horned one. And this means, since we’re only a matter of days away from people binge-watching the new show, that it’s a perfect time for us to take a look at that mini. Hop into the time machine! Read more…

Get your Spider-Man ring — and maybe accidentally marry Spider-Man!

March 31, 2015

Spider-Man mood ring

So you could have one of these mood rings and impress your flaky New Age friends, all for the low price of $3.99 — which seems like a princely 1970s sum for a worthless lump of plastic. But how many rings would put you in a potentially romantic relationship with the web-slinger? The goofy kid with the boldly-striped t-shirt certainly looks content. With this Spider-Man mood ring, I thee wed…

Sunday Stupid: Hulk Hogan loses his damn mind! And destroys the Eastern Seaboard!

March 29, 2015

In honor of tonight’s WrestleMania, the 31st iteration of that rasslin’ megashow, today’s Sunday Stupid is devoted to the superest superstar ever to headline it: Hulk Hogan. And, more specifically, the most steroid-addled interview he ever gave to Mean Gene Okerlund, brother. Read more…