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Trading Card Set of the Week – American Gladiators (1991, Topps)

November 21, 2014

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Never has anything so successfully combined the disparate elements of professional wrestling, the Roman Coliseum, basic training, Rube Goldberg contraptions and a McDonald’s Playland quite like American Gladiators. Granted nothing has ever wanted to, much less tried, but you can’t this away from that show’s bizarre, insane, and enjoyable-for-its-time effort. And thank goodness this TV artifact of the late-1980s/early-1990s has been memorialized not only in archived broadcasts, but in trading cards! Rejoice and make merry! Blow the trumpets! Let the (goofy) games begin! Read more…

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Matt Mason may get to explore outer space, but he looks like a complete doofus while doing it

November 20, 2014

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Is Matt Mason going to “CLIMB UP HERE AND…” or “CUMB UP HERE AND…”? Because there could very well be a big difference between the two. Read more…

Should your Beer Wagon/Dragon Wagon revels get out of control, the Paddy Wagon will be there!

November 19, 2014

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We’ve already made the acquaintance of both the Beer Wagon and the more lyrically named Dragon Wagon. Add the Paddy Wagon to the Monogram madness. Read more…

Has a condemned Hal Jordan been sentenced to death by goofiness? – Green Lantern #55

November 18, 2014

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Cover bait is a time-honored marketing tool in comic books. The core ethos of comic covers is quite simple: put your character in a startling/inescapable/preposterous situation, and compel the reader to buy the book — or risk a vendor’s wrath by reading it surreptitiously next to the spin rack. What we have above is about as pure an example as you can get: Hal Jordan, Green Lantern of Earth, branded as “Cosmic Enemy Number One!” and facing a firing squad of his alien colleagues. Plunk your dime and two pennies onto the store counter, child of the 1960s! Read more…

The 1974 CBS Saturday morning lineup was perhaps the most insane ever

November 17, 2014

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It would seem that the further back in time you travel, the more eclectic Saturday morning cartoon lineups become. And the assemblage glimpsed above is as insane as they get. Socko Saturday indeed. Read more…

Sunday Stupid: The calmest cop ever gives the angriest motorist ever a ticket!

November 16, 2014

Warning: A torrent of foul language awaits in the above clip.

Over-aggressive police officers have been much in the news lately here in the U.S., as has a militarization of local constabularies that’s made them more paramilitary organizations than law enforcement agencies. It seems, right or wrong, like the image most have of the modern cop is that of a boot kicking the little guy right in the chops.

But don’t let it be said that there aren’t good policemen and policewomen out there who are models of restraint. There’s one in this clip (maybe), who calmly goes about his duties as the world’s most pissed off driver unfurls a string of profanity and crabbily complains about perceived harassment, the cost of insurance, the cost of postage, his illiteracy and national economic policy. Read more…

Captain America pitches Hostess Cup Cakes with fists and plays on words!

November 15, 2014
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It’s fitting that Captain America should star in a Hostess ad, since he’s the only character with the metabolism that can burn off those empty calories. Read more…

Shamed by your slow reading?

November 14, 2014
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Consider this an adjunct, codicil, tangent or what have you to the classic “Shamed By Your English?” comic book ad. Read more…

Trading Card Set of the Week – Batman Forever (1995, Fleer Ultra)

November 13, 2014

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Jim Carrey is returning to his big screen comedic roots this weekend, as he and Jeff Daniels reprise their respective roles of Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne in Dumb & Dumber To. Carrey’s been at the top of the Hollywood pay flow chart since he rocketed to super-stardom back in the 1990s, hot on the heels of the original Dumber, Ace Ventura, The Mask, et al. But returning to an old role might signal something: that perhaps his career has cooled to the degree that going backwards and mining hits of yore makes a bit of career sense. Or maybe it was simply a nice payday and reuniting with the Farrellys for another comedy would be fun. Take your pick — no one is holding a bake sale for him either way.

There’s one 1990s role he probably won’t be returning to anytime soon, though. Hey, remember Batman Forever? Read more…

Mello Yello, the beverage that can make even Albert Einstein stupid!

November 12, 2014

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It would seem that Mello Yello is trying to sell itself as the drink of choice for free spirits and iconoclasts, in part by purloining the famous picture of Albert Einstein sticking out his tongue at a photographer. But the “Give your day the brain off!” copy makes it sound more like a drink for dumb people. Really dumb people. Read more…

Monogram might want to rethink giving old-timey cars to kids

November 11, 2014
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Not to say that all model kits are aimed at kids, as it’s a hobby that people of all ages can enjoy (and rip their hair out over). But should Monogram have aimed car prizes at bell-bottomed 1970s teenagers? Read more…

An anarchist anti-hero for our angst-ridden age? – Anarky

November 10, 2014

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It’s tough to get a new Batman villain to “take.” The Rogues Gallery of rogues galleries is so star-studded, it almost beggars description. With iconic luminaries like the Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Two-Face, the Riddler — need I go on — there isn’t a lot of oxygen left over for a fresh face to catch fire. So it was a minor miracle that Anarky, the philosophizing youngster with the cattle-prod and creepy outfit, became somewhat of a fan-favorite foe of the Caped Crusader. They don’t admit a whole ton of members to that exclusive list — it’s like the Augusta Country Club of evil-doing. Read more…

Sunday Stupid: Joe Frazier, the Bizarro-Aquaman

November 9, 2014

There’s always a debate among fans of professional sports about which athletes are the best athletes. A tangent of this never-ending argument is whether or not skills in one sport can translate to another. Could Lebron James be a wide receiver in the NFL? Could Michael Jordan play baseball? (Kind of, but not really, as it turned out.) There was an actual TV show that once sought to answer these questions: ABC’s Superstars, which took athletes from every sport known to man and lumped them together in neutral contests of speed, stamina and agility.

And this was the show that nearly killed Smokin’ Joe Frazier. Read more…

Whoever knew that the Kool-Aid Man was such a rugged outdoorsman?

November 8, 2014

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I know that there’s nothing I’d rather do upon reaching the midpoint of a harrowing rock-climbing ascent than stop and make some Kool-Aid with the water, ice, powder and pitcher that I’ve lugged with me. Read more…

Could the unused designs for the electric Superman costume be even worse?

November 7, 2014

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I admit to being no fan of even the moderate changes made in recent years to Superman’s costume, the discarding of the red undies and the yellow belt. A part of that is an innate conservatism — but it’s a conservatism born of one fairly strong adage: that something that has worked without serious complaint for seventy years should be left alone. Now, without the red and yellow to break up the middle of the Big Blue Banana’s outfit, his big blue banana is even more highlighted and on display than it ever was before.

Of course, you also have the electric Superman-Red/Superman-Blue from the 1990s. Which was so beyond awful it almost defies description. Read more…