Christopher Columbus discovered Honey Nut Cheerios? (Also, Buzz the Bee is an ageless vampire)
Even if university Native American Studies departments and pent-up Euro-American guilt have ensured that Christopher Columbus’s trans-Atlantic voyage of (accidental) discovery is no longer as celebrated as it once was, he at least has his relationship with Honey Nut Cheerios to hang his goofy hat on.
Just look at that ad up there — it rhymes and everything! And without this adjunct discovery, the breakfast aisle in grocery stores would have one less sugary cereal masquerading as a healthy food. Another triumph, Chris!
And speaking of discoveries, this ad unearths another not insignificant tidbit — that Buzz the Honey Nut Cheerios bee (that’s his name, didn’t you know?), is immortal, having lived for centuries. So he’s like Hob Gadling from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comics. Or vampire Nicolas Cage. Whatever.