Dog training, the senses-shattering 1950s way

Should you ever be in need of a program to hone your dog’s skills at rescuing long-limbed young girls (seriously, look at those things!) from oncoming traffic, this old-timey obedience kit is right up your alley.

Turn your disobedient mutt into a well-oiled life-saving machine, in the proud tradition of Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, and Scooby-Doo. (Though I would have been content in my bedogged days to merely not have him wake me up each morning at 5AM with a blood-curdling howl.)

Let’s be honest, though — Will Ferrell had the definitive last word on dog training.