Spider-Man squares off against the Legal Eagle, and we’re all left scratching our heads!
There are a lot of things to unpack in this one-page Hostess ad, so let’s dig right in — just like we’d dig right into a Hostess cupcake, amiright?!?!
- Usually these Hostess things have made up villains battling our familiar heroes. Cooky la Moo. Gudrun, the Glutton for Gold. The Muse. Etc. But the Legal Eagle is a blatant ripoff of the Vulture, right down to bald head.
- Yet he has wings in addition to his four limbs, whereas poor Vulture had his attached to his arms. Which means that the Legal Eagle is more of a Legal Griffin, though that doesn’t rhyme quite as well. And he thus looks a little odd — at least odder than a bald, green, feathered, winged, flying guy normally looks.
- What exactly is the Legal Eagle’s plan for taking over the White House and ruling America? Like the Underpants Gnomes on South Park, it would seem that he’s missing a step or two in this scheme. Or maybe Kevin Spacey’s machinations in House of Cards have been over-involved, and all he had to do was sit down in the White House and he was suddenly president. Or something.
- Isn’t Spider-Man a little far afield down in DC? Maybe he’s the one who cracked — no pun — the Marion Barry case. And since when did Mary Jane start accompanying him on evening stakeouts?
Anyway, there you go. Ponder these things while noshing the sugary processed confection of your choice.