Your pick of a convertible, machine gun. counterfeiting machine, or hideous, horrifying dolls — enjoy, kids!

Never before has such a lineup of tchotchkes been assembled, one in which the ping-pong ball machine gun and the convertible car toy are by far the most mundane. Your eyes are drawn to the evil-looking dolls, but the real show-stealer? A machine that makes money. Wait, what?

Yes, kids, you can now run afoul of the Secret Service and the entire U.S. Treasury Department for that matter by printing your own currency — for only $2.98. I can recall as a kid being fooled by those gold foil coins you see at cash registers in grocery stores, the ones wrapped in the tiny mesh bags. I remember forcing my mother to buy me a bag, thinking it was some real bargain, that actual gold currency was to be had for only a dollar or so. And then they were put in my hands, and I found out they were just foil-wrapped chocolate, and bad-tasting chocolate at that. (I forever associate that taste with gullibility.) Some of the same thing going on here, though the magic angle probably clued in many of the less credulous.

Man, those dolls are creepy. Hansel and Gretel creepy.