Dare you resist the (weak) magnetism of the official Johnny Bench Magnetic Baseball Game?

What’s that? Your kids are bitching about their video games, that they’re not good enough for them? Then go ahead, whip out this ad and show them the horrors that the youth of relatively recent yesteryear had to deal with, games that didn’t just stretch the imagination, but put it through the wringer. That ought to shut their yaps.

No offense intended to Hall of Famer Johnny Bench — no stranger to hawking crap — or his eponymous magnet game, but really, “Colorful grandstand” sounds like something a desperate real estate agent lists to drum up interest in dilapidated money pit property.