Simple two-step program: Get ICS diploma, boff secretary

Correspondence school ads, whether they’re for peace officer training or electronics repair courses, have an inherent degree of hilarity to them. Not because there’s anything funny about continuing one’s education, but just for their sheer goofiness. I mean, take this one, in which a guy tells off Barry Goldwater’s doppelgänger while wearing a plaid shirt so plaid it looks to be hewn from wood chips.

So the above International Correspondence Schools sequential storytelling fits right in, what with Jack getting conked on the head one day and turning heads with his business suit power the next. And you totally know that he’s nailing that secretary on his desk when everyone else has gone home for the day (poor Nancy). Men respect him, women adore him. Excelsior!