No one could do massive bloodletting quite like the Romans. Enjoy, kids!

I see siege towers in the background of this ad. (If I’m not mistaken, there’s also a catapult mounted on top of one. This is like a shark riding on the back of a lion. AWESOME.) I see no siege towers in the roster of things you’d get with the advertised set of Roman soldiers. This is a rip-off, since siege towers were, like, the greatest thing going back then, right up with vats of boiling oil. Will they take the four buglers for one siege tower, like four houses for a hotel in Monopoly? If so, we might have a deal.

And about the ad itself: You have to think that this is about as sanitary as an ancient battle could possibly be. (Are there even enemies?) Usually you’d have a lot more viscera involved back in those good old days. It was the era of the slow death by gut-wound — i.e. perfect for your typical box of men shenanigans.