If it’s possible for 13-year-old boys to have body issues, this ad will do the trick

Poor Howard B. of South Carolina. He had what surely must have been the most hellish existence of any pipsqueak in the annals of American childhood, what with peers and teachers(!) relentlessly mocking his unsightly boniness. It must have been like having armies of George F. Jowetts wagging their fists in your face. All his (surely fake) physique S.O.S. letter lacked was a line that said “and because of my skinny arms my dog died” or something to that effect. Sheesh.

But really, aren’t all 13-year-old boys skinny? Unless they’re fat?