Not even the Alpha-Bits computer box can elevate the awful cereal inside

Isn’t calling this a “computer box” a bit much? An abacus is more of a computer. It seems a lot like something Homer Simpson would give as a desperate, last-minute gift to Lisa on her birthday. And I would trust no computations from Alpha-Bits, which hails from the cereal D-list, just above generic gruel like Frosty Flakes and Toasted Os. It was one of the cereals you’d experience when you were a kid and stayed over at your weirdo friend’s house, and had a bowl of strange gunk put in front of you the next morning at the breakfast table. GET ME OUT OF HERE.