Clearasil’s potent medicine will make you smile so hard it hurts

No offense to the fine people at Clearasil, but I found decades ago, during my relatively acne-free adolescence, that their products weren’t all that revolutionary. Certainly not potent enough to force my face into a strained Joker rictus grin. Maybe their greatest value is as some sort of placebo, providing a feeling that you’re at least doing something to prevent the zit craterization of your face. Like the epidermis equivalent of Tom Hanks firing his pistol at the tank at the end of Saving Private Ryan.

Apparently there were some unadvertised teeth-whitening side effects with your Clearasil DoubleClear pads. Knowledge for life.