According to the imagery in this ad, cankles are preferable to bamboo shoots. Your move, women of Earth.

Do you want to be Kate Moss, or do you want to fill out your nylons? Do you want to be Olive Oyl or Big Ethel? How’s a woman to decide?

I suspect the “Exhilarating Effects!” that supposedly herald your new, shapely gams are merely the first signs of complete pituitary shutdown. Just a hunch.