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Wheaties will make you big and strong, kids. Unless you’re Phil Rizzuto. Then it will make you neither.

September 19, 2012

Maybe, in certain isolated cases, instead of honing you into a rugged hardballer in the strapping Hank Greenberg/Ralph Kiner/Frank McCormick mold, Wheaties turns you into a funny, quirky little old guy with huge, thick glasses who likes to belt out “Holy cow!” at every opportunity. Caveat emptor.

Whatever the case, the Phil Rizzuto diet regimen, whole kernel of wheat in every flake or not, would have to rank right up there with the Jimmy Stewart bulk-up exercise routine in effectiveness. Aim high!

All this isn’t to bash the Scooter. Believe me, I watched and enjoyed many a Yankees game on WPIX in my day. That said, I’m pretty sure the girl with the racket could take him, even at his Wheaties-engorged physical peak.

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