The first thing you’ll project with your new projector? Why, breasts, of course!

In my first weeks of college, back in the sepia-toned summer/fall of 1996, I got on the internet for the first time. A couple of shaggy dorks from the university’s computer science department went from dorm room to dorm room, installing ethernet cards in computers and hooking us into an archaic e-mail system. This was the first time that I’d ever been on THE WORLD WIDE WEB, and I’ve been a slave in its thrall ever since. So it was a momentous day.

I bring this up because the guys, after they had completed the installation, watched to see what I’d go to first on the information superhighway. Why’d they want to see that? They explained that it was because something like 90 percent of the guys typed “PORN” into a search engine right off the bat. A christening. I forget what I typed in, but it wasn’t porn. I don’t know what that says about me, for good or ill (I think sharing a tiny room with three other guys put me off immediate sexual gratification), but I remember the moment. Lesson: At eighteen, all men are testosterone-addled horndogs.

Anyway, the above boob projector reminded me of that. Your own Home Chestular Screen Display Device. Less family friendly, but assuredly more titillating, than the Tru-Vue projector.