Gre-Gory, the Big, Bad Vampire Bat, is the “World’s Grossest Toy” clubhouse leader

Wanting to own a Gre-Gory (GET IT?) toy as a child is surely one of the serial killer precursors, and if it isn’t, it needs to be added post-haste. Someone check Jeffrey Dahmer’s father’s attic.

There’s a definite Slim Goodbody vibe at play here, and that ain’t helping things (maybe a dash of Woodgod too). Really, who in God’s name had this monstrosity on their Christmas list? The fact that bats are the most nude of mammals — and always look like streakers spreading the flaps of a soiled trenchcoat — not enough for you? Well now you can see their guts!

Even Man-Bat is blushing with associative shame. But hey, if you had a younger sister, or, let’s be honest, any female family member whatsoever, this was to little plastic spiders what an H-bomb was to a blunderbuss.