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Want to bulk up like Bane? Try some dangerous-looking 1940s exercise equipment!

July 19, 2012

All old-timey workout gear looks like implements of medieval torture, and no exception here. RACK HIM. Did this stuff come with safety goggles (if they even had safety goggles back then)? If not, THEY SHOULD HAVE. My father had something similar to the chest-expansion doohickey on the left, and even though his was made from rubber and plastic and not fearsome metal, it snapped while I was using it once and almost maimed me. Also, it should be noted I was a 90-pound weakling back then when I started with it, and remained so after using it. I only became the rugged, virile he-man that I am/imagine myself to be after free weights. Draw your own conclusions as to effectiveness from that. You might be better off going with any of the Charles Atlas regimens.

I remember a Benny Hill skit where the little bald guy that Benny was always slapping on the head tried to toughen up with the one you see up there. It tore off all his chest hair. Lesson? If you ever use this stuff, dress like you’re going to ride a motorcycle, not like you’re going to the beach.

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