The Batman Returns video game, which included the Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman, was nevertheless dull beyond words

Though Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman costume defined fetishistic lust for a generation of teenage boys (I can attest to this), the Batman Returns game for the old Super NES was a left to right punch-kick borefest (sadly, no spine-ripping fatalities). I don’t think people are jumping though hoops to hook an old system bought off of eBay up to their HDTV so they can play this thing, catch my drift? And you have to love the part of the copy that salivates over “our hero’s humungous size. We’re talking big!” In a franchise replete with codpieces, this is verbiage I could do without, thank you very much. Fifty Shades of Batman.