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Bulletman, Eagle-Eye G.I. Joe and Mike Power have absolutely nothing in common. LET’S TEAM THEM UP.

March 7, 2012

I was familiar with the old Fawcett character Bulletman, whose head-first powers would have made him ideally suited for today’s concussion-ridden NFL. The other two members of the Super Adventure Team trio, Mike Power (the Atomic Man — I wonder if there’s any relation to Conan O’Brien’s Molecular Man) and Eagle-Eye G.I. Joe, were new to me. At first blush I thought “Eagle Eye” was a codename for a guy whose eyesight was especially keen, one to differentiate him from the regular, ass-kicking, tough as nails Joe. Little did I know it referred to a toy feature that has to rank as one of the most unintentionally freakish of all time. This Joe’s eyes moved, thanks to a lever at the back of his skull, and this gave him the same disturbing quality as an old portrait of a formidable and forbidding great-aunt, one with eyes that follow a person around a room, judging all the while.

Buy this Joe! Make your bedroom feel like a Scooby-Doo haunted mansion!

In the roster of dolls that might come alive and kill you in your sleep, Eagle-Eye has to be in the starting lineup. Store him in a drawer. Out of sight. With a padlock.

One Comment leave one →
  1. July 23, 2012 9:41 pm

    Why is it necessary to say “Bulletman, The Human Bullet?” How about “Batman, the Human Bat” or “Spiderman, the Human Spider”?

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