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Doctor Doom looks nude without his cape, and that crappy hologram shield isn’t helping.

January 31, 2012

Spider-Man and Captain America look like they’re in love. Next they’ll be drinking one milkshake with two straws. “Oh Cap, you got strawberry. That’s my favorite.”

The Secret Wars action figures from Mattel were one of the signature lines of my youth. They couldn’t hold a candle to DC’s Super Powers toys (If you squeeze the legs the arms move MY GOD WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT), but they had a welcome bendable dexterity to them. Nigh unbreakable. They held up well under the rigors of virtual combat.

The holograms were unbelievably lame. Never understood them. They were dim, they bewilderingly showed absolutely nothing (turn it one way, nothing, turn it the other way, MORE NOTHING), and they were promptly separated from their parent figures and scattered. You found them later and wondered “What the hell is this thing? What did it come with? He-Man?” Or the family dog ate them and crapped them out. One or the other. (And Wolverine’s removable claws were especially edible.)

4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 1, 2012 8:38 am

    Jared —

    Great post. The Doc Ock figure was the best of that particular character until Toy Biz made the John Romita-inspired Marvel Legend.

    Iron Man had that very clean Bronze Age look to him, and the black Spider-Man was very sleek. This was a nice line of toys.

    But yeah, the shield thing was pretty dumb!


    • February 1, 2012 12:58 pm

      You’re right about the Iron Man and his sleekness. If I recall correctly, he got the most use out of the roster that I had, enough to wear some of the yellow off to reveal the red below (or vice versa, I can’t remember clearly that far back). And of course, he had his famous IRON MAN HOLOGRAM SHIELD.

  2. Thelonious_Nick permalink
    February 3, 2012 2:04 pm

    The Secret Wars figures were re-issued a couple years ago for the 25th anniversary and so help me, I had to get the one with Dr. Doom, which also came with the Absorbing Man and the Wasp. Because I NEED Dr. Doom in my comic book room (known to my wife as the guest room).

    • February 3, 2012 3:52 pm

      The comic book/guest room. Or as Doom calls it, NEW LATVERIA.

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