Time to separate the (boxes of) men from the boys

The Day After Christmas: the proving ground of toys, where some are marked for the future glory of nostalgic remembrance and others are consigned to the shadowy reaches of the toy box, never to be seen or heard from again until a decades-later garage sale.

No matter how many accoutrements they might come with, boxes of static men could never get me going, even if they were incorporated into actual games like in this ad. I lacked imagination, I guess. They were great, however, for melting under a magnifying glass and getting swallowed by the dog. And I’m sure the heroes of Chickamauga up in Elysium are beaming with pride at the above tribute.

Straight into the dark corner of the toy box.

Also, I’m not certain whether company-name “Helen of Toy” should be slapped or applauded. In the spirit of the season, I’ll go for the latter.