Big Poppa Pump(kin) or Ego the Living Gourd? You decide!

Above you see my pumpkin carving effort for the year. I was struck by a lightning bolt of inspiration while watching old pro wrestling clips on YouTube, including some from the infamous “Big Poppa Pump,” Scott Steiner. For the uninitiated, Mr. Steiner was like a walking PED, a cartoon character even among his larger than life peers. Roided to the max, he was a tremendous athlete, but with a penchant for screwing up moves and lines most comically, as chronicled in an offshoot of the outstanding Botchamania web series, Steinermania:

A quick Google search revealed, much to my surprise, that no one had ever made the pump/pumpkin connection, and carved themselves a gourd featuring Big Poppa’s trademark sunglasses and bleached goatee — or at least no one had ever immortalized it online. So I addressed this cosmic imbalance. You’re welcome, Earth.

But speaking of cosmic — it’s hard to look at anything roughly spherical with improbable facial hair and not think of our old friend Ego the Living Planet, a world with eyes, a mouth, a nose, and yes, a moustache. Maybe the end result is more Ego than Steiner, but that’s a decision that’s above my pay grade.