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Silver Surfer Jet Ski! SILVER SURFER JET SKI!

September 3, 2014


As discussed yesterday, the Silver Surfer game was a bit lacking — though, in fairness, that could simply be a retroactive failing of its time. Limited graphics, simple scrolling, pewpewpew shooting, etc. But if, say, it was the only video game you had back in 1990, and you played it so much you almost started to go blind, you could maybe, just maybe, win a Silver Surfer jet ski.

Repeat: a Silver Surfer jet ski.

How incredible would it be to own such a device? Just look how happy that kid is to merely ride bitch on it (displaying a level of ecstasy reminiscent of Hans on a horse with Patrick Swayze at 5:30 of this clip). Lakeside neighbors, at first outraged over the ear-splitting noise it made, would smile warmly and wave merrily when they saw it was the good old Silver Surfer jet ski tooling around the open water.

I scoured the internet trying to find a picture of what the real think looked like, to no avail. Was it as depicted in the ad? Was the “customization” just a lame decal stuck on the side? Was it actually sculpted like a Silver Surfer in motion? The answer may very well be lost to history, as it’s probably gathering dust in the back of someone’s garage, if it wasn’t hauled away to the junkyard long ago. Which is a great American tragedy. Also lost is whether or not anyone used ancient Polaroid witchcraft to manipulate the photo submission of their high score, so as to better their chances of winning this pot of water-borne gold.

Man, though — a damn Silver Surfer jet ski. And they say playing video games never accomplishes anything.

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