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Do not purchase anything from the man in this ad, even (especially?) a Bag of Magic

September 20, 2013


Though the disembodied spokeshead in this ad bears a passing resemblance to Alan Moore, comic book deity and notable practitioner of magic, he doesn’t strike one as a person to inspire trust in a product. He looks like someone who’d toss you in the back of a van and end the evening covering your corpse with lime in a crawl space. Or maybe, like Killer Bob in Twin Peaks, he’d put you in his “death bag” — forget the “Bag of Magic.” Move along, kids of America, that’s what I’m getting at. Leave Rasputin up there be.

The days of pulling a lame Baby Ruth out of a hat seem so simple, so pure, and so very long ago.

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