The right to wear novelty dog tags is just what GIs died in the Korean mud to protect. Or something.

Since dog tags were originally created to help identify charred, mangled and eviscerated battlefield corpses, that you could/can buy jokey versions is either A) incredibly disrespectful of fallen soldiers, or B) an ironic commentary on war, a whistling past the graveyard through the prism of tchotchkes — like M*A*S*H condensed into small metal plates. Maybe, as with so many things, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

And really, who wouldn’t want to wear Rolling Stones lips and pilfered Godfather lines around their neck, preferably coupled with a shirt unbuttoned to show a lot of chest? And further: What lady could resist such a swarthy lothario?