I now present you with the ugliest, most overdesigned clock in the history of the world

Maybe this is just old-fashioned stubbornness talking, but it would seem that all you need for a good, solid clock is a roundish backdrop, two hands — maybe three if you’re feeling saucy — and twelve numbers or Roman numerals arranged sequentially around the dial. And voila — clock. Not a swirling psychedelic disk. And a bird. And flowers. And a deer’s head. And a young couple posed like they’re pulled straight from a Swiss Miss ad campaign. Yet that’s what you get from the Swiss Chalet Electric Whirling Clock. It looks like the type of thing that makes odd noises unbidden, even after you’ve unplugged it and removed the batteries. ZOMBIE CLOCK.

This is supposed to be a timepiece, people, not a weather forecaster of either the Disney or depressed peasant variety.