While you’re taking a break from Angry Birds to watch movies on the tablet of your choice, remember how your forefathers suffered

The word “portable” has certainly changed definitions over the years. I just broke down and bought a new laptop, and went for the slim ultrabook kind. Computers — even full laptops, we’re not even getting down to the wafer-thin iPads and such — are now nothing but a few pieces of paper in width. AND JUST LOOK AT THAT CLUNKY THING UP THERE. Imagine lugging your Luminavision (Luginavision) to whatever god-forsaken “sales presentation” you might have to make. This was walking to school uphill in the snow both ways, folks. Didn’t Dana Carvey’s Grumpy Old Man character talk about using one of these? “That’s the way it was and we liked it!”

By the by, it looks like something that a person would watch snuff films on. Didn’t I see George C. Scott watching porn on a Luminavision in Hardcore?