Captain America had a Broadway show? Captain America had a Broadway show. (Not really.)

This advertisement is, sadly, the only artifact we have of the aborted mid-80s Captain America musical. Other places on the internet have posted the above ad and the snippet from the New York Times article that’s pretty much the only information out there about what might have been, so I won’t belabor this aborted misfire. But Spider-Man: Turn Out the Dark was a logistical disaster? I’m wondering how a mid-life crisis Captain America doing his best Mr. Peanut impersonation alongside a 10-14 year old girl moppet would have played. Not too well I’d imagine. Then again, who would have predicted CATS?

At least the song and dance number in 2011’s Captain America: The First America likely sated whatever hunger there was for a Steve Rogers musical. One hopes.