Star Trek V collectible figures, now proudly decorating landfills and Goodwill bins everywhere

These figures were — and are — great for anyone who’s just seen Star Trek V: The Final Frontier for the first time, especially for a viewer who still remembers the fun romp that was The Voyage Home. They, you know, might feel compelled to have some keepsake from this Shatner-helmed sequel, and to utterly destroy said memento. Maybe by melting it under a magnifying glass. Or blowing it to hell with an M80. I, for one, would take great joy in annihilating a Sybok figure, perhaps with the croquet mallet of my choice. “Oh, so you’re Spock’s smiling, cackling half-brother? The one never mentioned before this movie and never mentioned again after it? GIVE MY REGARDS TO SHA KA REE, JACKASS.”

Thank you, San Francisco Mint, for these limited edition collectibles. We wouldn’t have been able to cope as a society without them.