This “sun watch” does everything but tell f–king time

Behold, the Rube Goldberg of wrist-worn timepieces. I mean, really… It’s like having a Swiss Army knife, if said knife lacked an actual cutting implement. Yes, there’s some ancient (un)scientific timekeeping functionality, though you shouldn’t have to be Pythagoras to figure out what the hell time it is. And you shouldn’t be without time-telling recourse after sunset. Synchronize your sundials, men!

But hey, you’ll be able to chart constellations and decipher Morse code. And the weather forecaster and fire-starting magnifying glass fold out to give it nice Mickey Mouse ears. HUZZAH.