Ripley’s Believe It or Not! will gladly help you enslave your Sea-Monkeys and put them in a Happy Meal roadshow

Not that Sea-Monkeys aren’t gross and stupid and worthy of our everlasting loathing, but isn’t this a bit much? Or maybe it’s just right. Whatever.

Also, I have a hunch the “monsters” on the bottom might not be actual monsters (they look like underwater Madballs). Prepare to have your hopes dashed, kids.