Let’s sidle up to the old Victrola and have a listen

Another piece of life that’s gone the way of the dodo.

I had a few book/record combos back in the day, mostly rehashes of movies like The Dark Crystal and the Star Trek films. Ah, the glorious days before my house got its first VCR. As unbelievably silly as these might seem to modern iPhoners, sometimes the original stories featured in them had a lot of quality. I fondly recall a couple of ditties (Planet of the Hoojibs and Droid World) whose sound effects and distinctive music combined to set my young imagination afire. R2-D2 beeping to cue you to turn the page was one of those little touches that I remember to this day, and C-3PO’s voice somehow made everyone’s favorite protocol droid sound even more effeminate than usual. I swear, whoever did Goldenrod’s voice in those was to Anthony Daniels what John Inman would have been to Clark Gable.

I feel so old talking about having owned records. Tomorrow I’ll be walking with a cane, chugging Metamucil and telling neighborhood kids to get off my fucking lawn. Or so it seems. Time flies when you’re having fun.

I’d love to get my hands on the comic character versions in the ad above, just for the curiosity factor alone. You really don’t see more ephemeral stuff like this much. They’re not purely comics, they’re not purely records, they’re not purely books and therefore they’re collectible orphans.

And now you’ll have to excuse me, because I need to go look in a mirror for a quick wrinkle check.