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How About Having Her Balance the Invisible Plane on Her Nose? Wonder Woman #124

April 1, 2010

I’m always happy to pick up some old Wonder Woman comics, mainly because I never really see a lot of them when I’m flipping through a dealer’s stock.  For a character that’s part of the Big Three in DC’s pantheon along with Superman and Batman, it’s kind of hard to find quality back issues of everyone’s favorite Amazon.  I’m not sure of the reason for that.  I realize that comics are mainly a man’s world, and not many young boys imagined themselves to be Diana in their daydreams.  Or maybe they did.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as Seinfeld would say.  But my guess is that the demand is just lower.

So when I find some WWs, I pick them up if they’re in good shape.  Like this one.  Plus I kind of liked the cover.  I mean, they had her doing everything but spinning plates on the Ed Sullivan Show.  Also I didn’t really know what the deal was with “Wonder Tot.”  Wonder Girl I thought I was familair with, though I didn’t realize that here she was just a younger version of Wonder Woman, a la Superman and Superboy (not the Connor Kent version).  And it turnes out Wonder Tot is an even younger version of Wonder Woman.  Okay.  I guess I could have picked that up by, oh, I don’t know, reading the cover, but sometimes I’m slow on the uptake.

The answer to the cover question of how they could be together is, in my ever so humble opinion, profoundly stupid.  They aren’t.  It turns out Queen Hippolyta, in answer to fan mail, decides to splice together home movies she has of Diana as a little girl, a teen and a buxom adult.  So it’s all put together using the Paradise Island version of George Michael’s Sports Machine and through cinematic alchemy the three versions plus their mother can have adventures together on film.  There they meet Mer-Boy.  They fight Multiple Man in the present and in the past.  Fantastic.  Good for them.

Here’s where it gets stupid.  The imaginary story is framed by a few “real” panels.  Diana and Steve Trevor are on vacation and inspecting cave paintings.  Give me a beach and a beer on my vacation, but to each their own.  Anyway, they find a cave painting depicting the “Wonder Woman Family” fighting a T-Rex.  Trevor points out that this is impossible since Wonder Woman can’t appear at the same time with the younger versions of herself, to say nothing of doing so in the past.  This sets Diana to remembering the film strip scenario I described above, when she and her mother spliced things together, and she eventually realizes this is the reason why the cavemen created a remembrance.  In the film scenario the Wonder Woman Family saved the cavemen from the Multiple Man who was in the form of a dinosaur and the nice cavemen paid tribute this way.

Let me go over this again.  The film strip stuff never happened.  But they find evidence of it in a cave painting.  Do you see the problem here?  And do you see why it’s driving me insane?  Even the cavemen who we’re supposed to believe made this “real” painting were in the “imaginary” story.  Now you see why this is on the way to sending me to the loony bin?  This is all impossible in in the same way that swallowing your own head is impossible.  It’s the sort of conundrum that the crew of the Enterprise would feed the Borg to destroy them.  I can’t even talk about this anymore it’s so maddening.

At the end of the issue there’s a note asking readers to write in and say whether they’d like to see more “impossible adventures.”  I know I’m 50 years too late, but please allow me to cast my vote for no.  Good Lord, no.  This one gave me a headache, and now I need a nap.  Though maybe I’ve figured out why there aren’t a lot of old WW comics in the bins…

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 5, 2010 8:37 pm

    Kanigher did a fine job with DC’s war comics, but he definitely approached Wonder Woman with little evidence of interest. Most of the stories from this era are cringe-inducing. BTW, your vote was not registered; there were somewhere around a half-dozen more Wonder Woman family “Impossible” tales.

    • April 5, 2010 8:59 pm

      I saw another one of the “impossible” stories in the box when I put that one back in its place – I got the shakes. I’ll save going through that one for when my brain has recovered – maybe in ten or twelve years. And thanks for mentioning the scripter – since I was savaging his work I was reluctant to mention it myself, but I guess credit should be given when credit is due.


  1. Yeah, I’m sure Wonder Tot will be a huge help – Wonder Woman #133 « Blog into Mystery

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