This takes the old “Shamed By Your English?” ad to a whole new soul-crushing dimension

It’d be bad enough to have English skills so awful that you’d have to turn to a skeevy instructor who held his glasses out at odd angles. To be blighted with horribly pimpled skin — so bad you have to slink away like the tobacco-smoked Cosmo Kramer — would be a final nail in the teen social life coffin. THANK GOD FOR VIDERM, WHICH PRESERVES THE PRECIOUS EPIDERMISES OF YOUNG WHITE REPUBLICANS.