Wrap your lips around a soldier’s sweet chocolate rod this Fourth of July WAIT WHAT?

I think you would be forgiven for glancing at this ad, mixing the soldier “Tongue Teaser” with the “Tongue Pleaser” and coming away thinking you should please a shy soldier with your tongue. Or maybe not. Whatever.

The above image was one of a series of bottom-of-the-page Tootsie Roll ads in the Blackhawk book reviewed here recently. Not only could you trick your eyes while pondering the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Roll Pop:

But you could also appreciate the art of Rembrandt:

I wonder if that self-portrait was in his Superman phase.

Anyway, if you’re in the U.S., enjoy the Fourth. With or without chocolate rod.