Be thankful that this isn’t the lineup we’re getting next year – The Avengers #49

When I think of the Avengers, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch aren’t the first two members that spring to mind.

This comic comes from one of the darker periods of the team, when Captain America had left the group and they were left with Hawkeye, Hercules, Goliath, Wasp and the brother/sister mutant duo to fill out the roster. That list of names reads to me like a slightly augmented Great Lakes Avengers roll call.

To crib from a classic Rick Pitino press conference meltdown, Thor and Iron Man aren’t walking through that door.

But Magneto is in this. So what the hell. Why not crack it open?

Before I dive into this book, I need to briefly comment on something I’ve always felt about Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, something called up by the cover. Um, does anyone think that they come off as, uh, a bit too close? Kind of? I’m an only child, so maybe I’m not the best person to critique sibling relationships, but do brothers and sisters really cling to one another well into adulthood? These two are always together (okay, not always, but it seems like it). They kind of give me that creepy Donny and Marie Osmond vibe, which Family Guy so delightfully distilled:

You kind of wonder if Vision ever looked at Wanda and asked “Does your brother always have to be around?”

Enough of that. Let’s get to the story. In Roy Thomas and John Buscema’s “Mine Is the Power!” we open with a wandering Hercules, who’s on his own on a deserted Mount Olympus. His dialogue is less, how shall we say, lusty here (more Thor-ish), as he discovers the reason for the disappearance of his kindred gods:

I’m sorry, but a Hercules without a beard is not a true Hercules.

This Typhon guy apparently banished all the gods to some other dimension or something. Back to this confrontation in a sec.

Back at Avengers Mansion, the remaining members are having a discussion that echoed my thoughts when I looked at the faces in the upper left-hand corner of the cover:

Amen.

We next get a slice of not-so-happy superhero domesticity:

While all this is going on, Magneto (accompanied by the servile, more Igor-y than normal Toad) is trying to woo his kids back into the Evil Mutant fold. He whisks them to his new rocky island hideout and then shows them his new super-villainy Rube Goldberg contraption:

Wanda and Pietro are unimpressed by his man cave, so Magneto cooks up a new scheme. He plans to manipulate things by playing on Quicksilver’s mistrust of humanity, and for a venue he chooses the United Nations:

Hey, in a building with turbans and fezes, the helmet doesn’t look quite as goofy, does it?

The remaining Avengers see on TV that Magneto is at the U.N. and head over to avert the inevitable chicanery. Magneto addresses the General Assembly, but his demand for an Israel-like homeland for mutants doesn’t go over so well, which is exactly what he wanted. When he magnetically hurls a microphone at one of his diplomat hecklers, all hell breaks loose and the Avengers show up. This is when helmet-head reveals the crux of his plan:

Witch down!

This (understandably) sends Quicksilver into a rage. He lays a speedy smackdown on Goliath and Hawkeye, and isn’t even placated by some of the Wasp’s sweet nothings:

Magneto dispatches her with a pen(!) and the reunited Evil Mutants march off. What’s left of the Avengers head back home to lick their wounds:

Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh — remember Hercules? He’s still fighting that Typhon fella, who’s summoned a big angry ape to fell our favorite demigod. If you’ve ever wanted to see Herc wrestle King Kong, this may be as close as you’ll ever get:

Even though he stops the simian, Herc still gets bested in this round:

Not the best day in Avengers-land.

Magneto definitely supplied the star-wattage for this book, and without his ever-pissed presence things would have been pretty dim. I know I sound ungrateful and spoiled, but reading an Avengers book without one of the real big stars can be a less than enjoyable experience. Then again, that’s the point here, and perhaps it’s part of what made Thomas such a good scripter. He seized on that disappointment and wove it into the story, showing us the Avengers at one of the lower ebbs in their history, before the days when they had a reserve roster that encompassed seemingly every hero in the Marvel Universe. And you certainly can’t complain that this booked lacked for action, what with the Magneto hijinks and Hercules flailing around on one of his quests. What looked to be lackluster turned into a good read.

And yes, folks, Cap came back to the Avengers. Many times.