Should you want to gird against the outdated threat of communism, these stilted Cold War PSAs have some useless tips for you

This pair of odd public service announcements (both illustrated by Rocco “Rocke” Mastroserio) were found in the Konga issue I discussed here over the weekend. What with the giant ape wrecking jet fighters and destroying missile bases, sending communists and their hammers and sickles scurrying, they both felt like overkill. But this was the early 1960s, when the Cuban Missile Crisis threatened to turn the globe into a charred cinder, so if there was ever a time to be paranoid, I guess this was it.

And yet…

Were poor study habits, leather jackets, fast cars, sassy smiles and getting beat up by Boy Scouts (?) really threats to the republic? The YMCA was our first line of defense? If so, let’s thank God that there were rugged young men around to berate their fat and skinny peers, as in the little brow-beating sequence below:

“See, now my sinewy biceps, broad shoulders and I can all die in a random Vietnam rice paddy. SO LONG, SUCKERS.”

Anyway. U S A! and all that.

(“Birdlegs” looks like a dude I once saw in an old health brochure delineating the devastating effects of masturbation. For whatever that’s worth.)